Dumping my heart on the page to you all. One of the most difficult parts of my journey was learning to love myself where I was at.

After a lifetime of calling myself horrible names like”fat cow” and “glutinous pig”. It was so hard to change this kind of mindset.

So why did I even try? Without this part of the journey to healthy, I wouldn’t have stayed on track. I may have lost the weight, but I honestly don’t think it would have stayed off.

In reality changing how you talk to yourself has a huge impact on your journey! This is a long path. Everyone talks about losing the weight, but what happens once the weight is lost?

Often times, if you don’t learn the path to loving yourself as you are, the weight is regained.

I don’t want this for you! I lost the weight twice and regained it twice, on the third try I took a completely different approach. Below are some things I focused on changing.


1. To Love Yourself-Let go of the circle of hate!

Here is how this works. You eat off you “plan”. And then this is followed by many horribly negative statements like… Next is, I have no will power, I’ll never get “there”, what was I thinking I start these plans and I fail every time… JUST STOP IT!

That gut wrenching feeling causes more eating and it’s a vicious circle.

Here is a little known secret, one meal, or snacking moment is not going make or break the day/week/month. The goal is to be consistent 90% of the time. Remember, life is meant to be lived.

Here are your 3 take aways to “Let Go of the Circle of Hate”

  • Remind yourself this is a journey
  • Don’t belittle yourself for not being perfect (no one is!)
  • Give yourself grace

Loving yourself allows you to live in the moment and not kick yourself when you go off “plan”. I put plan in quotes, did ya notice? Let me explain… Losing weight, must fall into a lifestyle if it is going to be maintainable. Giving up everything you love is not a lifestyle. The trick is making adjustments to your lifestyle.


2. To Love Yourself-Validate Your Inner Child’s Feelings

We all have an inner child. That little voice in our heads that cries when we “can’t” have the entire cake for dessert, or the entire box of hostess Crocodiles because we are upset about the car breaking down.

You may not realize that your inner child dictates a lot of your eating habits when you are extremely overweight. My inner child’s name is Shelly. And yes, this was my nickname as a child. And yes several of my older aunts still insist on calling me this. (cringe worthy…)

But I digress, overtime, while losing weight I learned when my inner child was trying to dictate my eating habits. When I started my journey she was about 2 years old. I implemented solution oriented parenting with my own inner child. I validated her feelings, loved her and guided her she may be in her twenties now. (Oh I wish I could be the age of my inner child. LOL)

So focus on loving that inner child, acknowledge her wants, but don’t give in like a good parent. You CAN start the process of raising your inner child. Give up their drama! You know the drama, just look at the two-year old laying on the floor of the grocery store because mom didn’t get the candy they wanted. As you move through your journey it’s your job to raise that child and heal her pain. I promise you, food is not going to heal her.

Here are your 3 key take aways to “Validate your inner child”

  • Parent your own inner child
  • Validate her feelings, and speak kindly to her
  • Don’t give in to her two-year old drama

Be a good loving parent to your inner child. And validate that they want that treat, but acknowledge that it’s not the time for a treat. 🙂 If it is time for a treat then let her have it. Creating a lifestyle doesn’t mean eliminating treats permanently, it means choosing to have treats at the appropriate times and in appropriate portions.


3. How to Love yourself

So we have covered removing the hate, and acknowledging our inner child and loving her, but how do we actually show love to ourselves?

The best way is to fake it until you make it. Repeat to yourself “I am amazing just the way I am!” To do this we need statements that connect with our heart! I have created a workbook to help you do this, and you can get that here.

As you work on yourself, treat yourself like your own best friend. Give yourself grace when you don’t meet your own expectations. This means recognizing your are human, and moving forward from each experience striving to learn from the situation. It’s not possible to learn from a situation when you are busy beating yourself up for screwing up!

It’s not possible to learn from a situation when you are busy beating yourself up for screwing up!

ONEderland Wellness

By using kind words when talking to yourself. And not using food and exercise to punish yourself for messing up you are on a good path. Most importantly, food is not a reward, or a punishment it is required to live. And exercise is not a reward or punishment, your body needs movement to be healthy.

Learning to love yourself is a process. It’s not a quick fix. But it is so important on this journey to healthy.

Here are your key take aways to “How To Love Yourself”:

  • Fake it until you make it
  • Be your own best friend
  • Don’t use food & exercise as a reward or a punishment

Loving yourself takes time and effort, like any relationship. I look at it this way, I love my husband dearly and he loves me. But we have days where we annoy the ever-loving crap out of each other. LOL My relationship with myself has hit this level. The goal isn’t to always like yourself, but to love yourself unconditionally, like you would your children. This puts an entirely different spin on the weight loss process. This makes the process something you are doing “for yourself”, not doing “to yourself”.


Let’s Wrap This Up…

I still have days when I look in the mirror at the loose skin, and think how gross it looks. It’s not the smooth sleek body I was hoping for when I started this journey. Or those moments when my inner child wins the battle and she digresses to two years old laying on the floor of the grocery store screaming at the top of her lungs. In these short-lived moments I forget to give myself grace, and I am busy with the hate in my mind.

With this said, I have more days when I see the strength in my New Body, and my inner child behaves herself. And on these days it’s easy to give myself grace. On these days it’s easy to be my own best friend.

Spend time loving you each day, it gets easier with time! But it’s not always an easy process, but that is life. Remember, anything worth having takes an effort. Put in the effort!

Make sure you grab your copy of the Learning to Love Yourself while on your Journey workbook! It’s there to help guide you in creating an internal change in your communication.

Sending Love & Hugs to All on this journey to healthy!